January 26 2018
Happy birthday kid, three years old already!
When I was young I had this notion that the world owed me something, that my mere existence meant a power unlike anything else. Now I believe life to be fragile and fleeting.
It has been said many a time that people cannot change, but I disagree. You have changed me. Being your mother has changed me. Watching you with your brother has changed me. With you I can be a kid. I get to laugh at the rain, splash in the puddles, savor the “make a happy plate” dessert, and cheer at heroes slaying dragons. With you, I can forget the harsh tint to the world.
Sometimes life makes us uneasy and offers us bigger tasks than we feel capable of conquering, but remember little one, “tough times never last, but tough people do.”
Finding out about you led to some really difficult medical decisions. I honestly had no idea how anything would turn out; all I knew was that I was your mother and I would do anything to protect you. Know this, I love you and your brother more than anything else. I will never regret the things I have done or the choices I have made to protect you.
You might outgrow me, but I will never outgrow you — so let me hold your hand crossing the street, let me give you kisses, and tuck you in; let me be mommy a little while longer. I can already see this fierce independence in you, a yearning need to grow up and be like Jack. You want for things you don’t fully understand yet.
If you learn nothing else from me, learn that it’s okay to be whoever you want to be. I will be as proud of you tomorrow, or next week, next month, even 100 years from now, as I am in this moment. You are my son and I love you!
Happy Birthday Joseph!