Crohn's- My angel, my devil
Growing up, we have all heard the story of the proverbial angel and devil that sit opposite each other on our shoulders.
One speaks of innocence and is often portrayed as our conscience, while the devil sits askew and whispers of danger and seduction.
I grew up with neither. Upon my shoulders for as long as I can remember has sat Crohn’s, my fair-weathered friend. It has guided me both consciously and seductively through my life, long before I knew its name.
Crohn’s, you see, is my north star; for better or for worse, it counsels me. It reaches out to me in the best and worst moments of my life. It speaks of pain, insomnia, fear, anxiety, frequent bathroom trips, exhaustion, and fatigue.
Yet, it also calls like a siren song and speaks of strength and courage. It reminds me that I am more, that I have survived. For as much hatred as I have for Crohn’s, there is an equal amount of love. For this disease, much to my own chagrin, is my best quality.
I am who I am because of it.
Perhaps Crohn’s isn’t as eloquent or picturesque as Faust intended, but then…..what is?